Questions I Can’t Answer

I’ve talked with dozens, if not hundreds, of people about weight loss issues. Certain questions involving food or exercise are understandably predictable. These I can usually answer based on my own experience, one gained over a forty-year period of trial and error.

But certain questions stump me. Here are examples:

1. How is it that when I dream, I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight?

2. Are there weight scales in heaven?

3. Your first name, Carole, is spelled the same way as that of Carole Lombard. Are you two related?

4. What law of physics permits a 4 ounce piece of cake at night to show up as a 1 pound gain the following morning?

5. The latest research shows that friends make friends fat. Does the opposite hold true? If I persuade my friends to get thinner, will I lose weight?

6. We’re supposed to eat from a rainbow of colors. Does that include my daily snack of multicolored M&M’s?

7. Does pushing your luck count as exercise?

8. I am taking up cross-country skiing. Should I start with a small country?

9. If you are stopped on the freeway and asked to show your driver’s license, how many pounds can you fudge before it is confiscated?

What can I say to such questions? My mental faculties are limited. Accepting my human limitation makes me, well, more human. Although I can’t answer all these questions, I am fairly confident that there are no scales in heaven.